Friendships are one of the biggest gifts we have in life. Finding quality friendships can take just as much time, effort and energy that finding romantic love does. All that being said, it’s very important that we keep quality friendships in our lives and begin to recognize signs if we are outgrowing that relationship.
Here are the top five signs that you are outgrowing your friendship:
1. The values that you hold dear, don’t mean much to them. For example, if you find service to community and adventure to be important values to you and your friend doesn’t value those at all, it may be a sign you both are going in different directions. It’s okay to have a few values that don’t align as long as they aren’t the ones you hold most dear such as morality or honesty. When most of your values start to go in different directions, that’s a sign you may be growing apart.
2. You continually grow whether it’s physically, spiritually, mentally or emotionally and they aren’t growing at all. There is nothing wrong with staying the same but if you are growing and changing and the other person is not- it’s only a matter of time before you outgrow the friendship.
3. You are clearly putting in more effort or vice versa. It is a definite sign that two friends are growing apart when it is obvious that one friend is putting in more effort than the other. This can look like one friend is the one that always reaches out first or calls to catch up.
4. They use the past against you. If we have been friends with someone for a significant period of time, history can either work for the friendship or against it. A sign that you may be outgrowing the friendship is if the other friend continually uses the past against you.
5. You begin to be competitive towards each other. This is one of the major signs that either one or both parties have outgrown the friendship. Competition is like poison to a friendship instead of the water of collaboration that allow it to prosper and feel supportive.
It is sometimes heartbreaking to discover that you have outgrown a friendship, especially one that has a long history. Give yourself time to grieve if you realize this is the case between you and your friend. Letting go is never easy.
Let me know in the comments what comes up for you when you read this list. Good job for reading and see you back here soon! Email me with any questions reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com
Metta Holistic Therapy 