A lot of the clients that I work with are interested in manifesting and the law of attraction. The law of attraction states that whatever energy we put out is what we will get back. Believing in manifesting and the law of attraction are both, in themselves, not harmful at all. They can be helpful if we utilize them in the right way.
Unfortunately, in this day and age toxic positivity or “good vibes only” has started to get confused with optimism and looking for gratitude. There is a major difference between trying to look for the good in your life versus completely avoiding anything negative.
Below I’ve listed three signs of toxic positivity:
1. The person has no space for their own negative emotions. Someone with toxic positivity is so afraid of getting stuck in negativity or pessimism that they locked themselves in a “prison of happiness.” I called this a prison because as humans it is natural for us to feel all of our emotions. If we do not allow ourselves to feel certain emotions or we numb them, we are having to walk on eggshells in our own body. All emotions are signals to us and can be used for good even if they don’t feel good. For example anger is a signal to our body to act. It gives us energy when we may need it. The emotion itself is not bad but it’s the behavior we do when we feel the emotion that can have consequences. Numbing emotions can have extremely harmful consequences.
2. The person doesn’t allow themselves to have negative thoughts or speak about them. It is natural to have judgmental or stressful thoughts. Judgment is actually meant in it’s biological form to help keep us safe. If we saw a man with a red coat and a knife, and a man with a red coat with a knife has hurt us in the past, we would have a snap judgment to fear this man. And that judgment, in itself, would not be a bad thing. Also, it can lead to people who are in toxic or abusive relationships staying because they are in denial. Part of boundaries is recognizing when things aren’t right but if we are so afraid of identifying something that might be negative we may stay in a situation that isn’t right for us.
3. The person can’t tolerate anyone else’s negative thoughts, emotions and experiences. An example can be a friend or family member coming to the person with a problem or needing to vent- and the person views them as negative or burdensome. If someone has toxic positivity, they will not make time or space for other peoples problems in their life. This is harmful because we admire people based on their accomplishments but we actually connect with other human beings based on our struggles. If someone with toxic positivity cannot relate to other peoples struggles or be empathic out of fear of being negative, it starts really harm relationships and make other people feel alone.
If you have any more questions about toxic positivity please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com
Thanks so much for reading until the end and hope you enjoyed it!
Metta Holistic Therapy 