Featured

Welcome Metta family!

My name is Renee Minx. I am a masters level mental health therapist as well as a person in long-term successful recovery from complex trauma.

Please feel free to reach out if you want to work together for individual therapy or if you have any questions reneeminxtherapy@gmail.con

What will your blogs be about?

This blog is about all things trauma, wellness, recovery and health. My clinical expertise is in trauma, abuse survivors, somatic techniques, inner child work and holistic healing.

Why read this blog?

  • Because you will learn new ways to help cope with your mental health symptoms
  • Because improving your own symptoms will also improve your relationships
  • As you learn more, your awareness will grow and so will your power to change

I am extremely passionate about trauma and mental health healing because I know that a happier life is possible.

I want us to connect with each other like a community would. So if you have any requests that I write on a topic please let me know! I’m also very open to questions as well.

I want this to be a free and helpful resource from an expert + survivor to you. Cheers to this journey of life together!

If you have any more questions about psychotherapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

Thank you so much! You are worthy of wisdom, healing, and being LOVED.

#mentalhealth #traumatherapy #cptsd #ptsd

Impacts of Verbal Abuse


Verbal abuse is a deeply damaging form of mistreatment that often leaves lasting scars on individuals’ mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Unlike physical abuse, which leaves visible marks, verbal abuse can be insidious, leaving victims grappling with invisible wounds that can be just as debilitating. In this article, we delve into the profound effects of verbal abuse on the brain, body, and attachment relationships, shedding light on the importance of recognizing and addressing this pervasive issue.

The Impact on the Brain:
The brain is highly susceptible to the effects of verbal abuse, with research indicating that consistent exposure to verbal aggression can lead to structural and functional changes. Chronic verbal abuse activates the brain’s stress response system, triggering the release of stress hormones such as cortisol. Over time, prolonged exposure to elevated cortisol levels can impair neural pathways responsible for regulating emotions, leading to increased anxiety, depression, and even PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Furthermore, verbal abuse can also affect brain regions involved in self-esteem and self-worth, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-confidence. Negative verbal messages can become internalized, creating a distorted self-image that perpetuates the cycle of abuse both internally and externally.

The Impact on the Body:
The effects of verbal abuse extend beyond the realm of the mind, manifesting in tangible physical symptoms and health outcomes. Studies have shown that individuals subjected to ongoing verbal abuse are at a higher risk of developing a myriad of health issues, including cardiovascular problems, gastrointestinal disorders, and compromised immune function.

Moreover, the stress induced by verbal abuse can weaken the body’s ability to cope with illness and injury, exacerbating existing health conditions and impairing overall well-being. The toxic stress of verbal abuse can also contribute to the onset of chronic conditions such as hypertension, diabetes, and autoimmune disorders, further highlighting the interconnectedness of mental and physical health.

The Impact on Attachment Relationships:
Verbal abuse not only inflicts harm on the individual directly targeted but can also undermine the fabric of attachment relationships. Whether it occurs within familial, romantic, or social contexts, verbal abuse erodes trust, intimacy, and emotional connection, creating rifts that are often challenging to repair.

For children, exposure to verbal abuse within the family dynamic can have profound implications for their attachment style and future relationships. Growing up in an environment characterized by verbal hostility can disrupt the development of secure attachments, leading to difficulties in forming healthy connections later in life.

Similarly, in romantic partnerships, verbal abuse can erode the foundation of mutual respect and support, fostering an atmosphere of fear, resentment, and emotional distance. Over time, the cumulative effects of verbal abuse can erode the bonds that hold relationships together, leaving individuals feeling isolated and emotionally depleted.

Conclusion:
Verbal abuse is a pervasive and damaging form of mistreatment that exacts a heavy toll on individuals’ mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Its impact extends beyond the realm of immediate verbal exchanges, shaping the structure and function of the brain, compromising physical health, and undermining attachment relationships.

As mental health professionals, it is imperative that we recognize the signs of verbal abuse and provide support and resources to those affected. By raising awareness, fostering empathy, and promoting healthy communication, we can work towards creating a world where verbal abuse has no place, and individuals can thrive in relationships characterized by respect, compassion, and understanding.

If you have any more questions about verbal abuse, mental health therapy or trauma/ptsd therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

How to Heal From Childhood Trauma

10 Evidence-Based Strategies for Healing from Childhood Trauma as an Adult:


Healing from childhood trauma as an adult can be a complex journey, but it’s a journey worth embarking on for your mental and emotional well-being. With advancements in trauma research and therapy techniques, there are now effective tools available to help individuals navigate this process. Here are ten evidence-based strategies supported by the latest research to aid in healing from childhood trauma or abuse.

  1. Therapy: Seeking professional help from a therapist trained in trauma-focused therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can provide crucial support and guidance in processing traumatic experiences.

2. Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness practices have shown promising results in reducing symptoms of trauma by promoting present-moment awareness and acceptance. Techniques like meditation, deep breathing exercises, and body scans can help regulate emotions and decrease reactivity to trauma triggers.

3. Emotional Regulation Skills: Learning how to regulate emotions is vital in managing the intense feelings often associated with childhood trauma. Techniques such as grounding exercises, emotion identification, and distress tolerance skills can empower individuals to navigate difficult emotions more effectively.

4. Self-Compassion: Cultivating self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, especially in moments of distress. Research indicates that self-compassion practices can foster resilience and facilitate the healing process by promoting feelings of worthiness and acceptance.

5. Establishing Boundaries: Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for survivors of childhood trauma to protect themselves from further harm. Learning to assert boundaries in relationships and recognizing when boundaries have been crossed are crucial steps in reclaiming personal agency and safety.

6. Trauma-Informed Yoga: Yoga practices tailored to address trauma-related symptoms can be beneficial in promoting relaxation, body awareness, and empowerment. Trauma-informed yoga emphasizes safety, choice, and mindfulness, offering a gentle approach to healing the mind-body connection.

7. Narrative Therapy: Engaging in narrative therapy techniques, such as journaling, storytelling, or creative expression, can provide individuals with a sense of agency in reshaping their personal narratives. This process allows for the exploration and reinterpretation of past experiences, fostering a greater sense of coherence and meaning.

8. Social Support: Building a supportive network of friends, family, or fellow survivors can be instrumental in the healing journey. Connecting with others who understand and validate your experiences can provide a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation.

9. Trauma-Informed Education: Educating oneself about the neurobiological and psychological effects of trauma can help individuals make sense of their experiences and reduce self-blame. Understanding how trauma impacts the brain and body can foster self-compassion and promote a sense of empowerment in the healing process.

10. Self-Care Practices: Prioritizing self-care activities that nourish the mind, body, and spirit is essential for overall well-being. Engaging in activities such as hobbies, exercise, nature walks, or relaxation techniques can replenish energy reserves and foster resilience in the face of adversity.


Healing from childhood trauma as an adult is a deeply personal journey that requires patience, courage, and support. By incorporating evidence-based strategies such as therapy, mindfulness, self-compassion, and social support, individuals can embark on a path towards healing, reclaiming their sense of self, and building a brighter future. Remember, healing is possible, and you are deserving of a life filled with hope, resilience, and inner peace.

If you have any more questions about childhood trauma, mental health therapy or trauma/ptsd therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

Overcoming Childhood Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a silent vampire that can haunt its victims long into adulthood. Unlike physical abuse, its scars are often hidden, etched into the very fabric of one’s emotional well-being. For those who have experienced childhood emotional abuse, the road to healing can be arduous, but it is a journey worth taking. This blog explores the profound impact of childhood emotional abuse and offers insights into overcoming its lingering effects.

The Silent Struggle:

Childhood emotional abuse is like a stealthy thief, stealing a child’s sense of self-worth and security. It takes various forms, such as constant criticism, belittlement, manipulation, or neglect. Unlike physical abuse, emotional wounds may not leave visible marks, but the damage can be deep and enduring.

Recognizing the Patterns:

The first step towards healing is acknowledging the presence of emotional abuse. Many survivors spend years rationalizing or denying the impact of their past experiences. Understanding the patterns of abuse and recognizing its effects on one’s mental health is crucial to breaking free from its grasp.

Seeking Professional Help:

Overcoming childhood emotional abuse often requires professional guidance. Therapists specializing in trauma can provide a safe space for survivors to explore their emotions, confront painful memories, and develop coping mechanisms. Therapy can be a powerful tool for unraveling the complex web of emotions left in the wake of abuse.

Building a Support System:

Isolation is a common aftermath of emotional abuse, with survivors often feeling a profound sense of loneliness. Building a support system is instrumental in the recovery process. Connecting with understanding friends, family members, or support groups can provide validation and encouragement.

Cultivating Self-Compassion:

Survivors of childhood emotional abuse frequently internalize negative messages, leading to a distorted self-image. Cultivating self-compassion is an essential part of the healing journey. Learning to treat oneself with kindness and understanding is a gradual process but a crucial one in rebuilding a positive self-concept.

Establishing Boundaries:

One of the lasting effects of emotional abuse is a difficulty in establishing healthy boundaries. Learning to set and enforce boundaries is a vital skill in breaking the cycle of abuse. It involves recognizing one’s own needs and asserting them without guilt.

Embracing Self-Discovery:

The healing journey is an opportunity for self-discovery. As survivors work through their pain, they often uncover strengths and resilience they didn’t know they possessed. Embracing self-discovery involves rediscovering passions, setting goals, and finding joy in life.

Moving Forward:

Overcoming childhood emotional abuse is not a linear path; it’s a journey with twists and turns. Celebrate small victories and acknowledge the progress made. Moving forward involves embracing a new narrative, one of resilience, strength, and the power to shape one’s own destiny.

Conclusion:

The journey to overcome childhood emotional abuse is a courageous pursuit of healing and self-discovery. By acknowledging the impact of past experiences, seeking professional help, building a support system, and cultivating self-compassion, survivors can break free from the chains of their past and emerge stronger, more resilient, and capable of creating a brighter future. The path may be challenging, but with perseverance and self-love, the scars of the past can become a testament to the strength found within.

If you have any more questions about childhood emotional abuse, mental health therapy or trauma/ptsd therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

How can I embrace my inner child?

In the hustle and bustle of adult life, it’s easy to lose touch with the carefree, imaginative spirit of our inner child. However, reconnecting with this playful side can be a powerful and transformative experience on our journey to emotional well-being.

The Importance of Embracing Your Inner Child

  1. Healing from Past Wounds:
    Many of us carry unresolved emotions and experiences from our childhood. By revisiting and acknowledging these moments, we can begin the process of healing and understanding ourselves on a deeper level.
  2. Rediscovering Creativity:
    Children are naturally creative and curious. Embracing your inner child can reignite your imagination and help you approach life with a fresh perspective, fostering creativity in both personal and professional aspects.

Practical Steps for Embracing Your Inner Child

  1. Reconnect with Playfulness:
    Engage in activities that bring you joy and evoke a sense of playfulness. Whether it’s playing a sport, doodling, or dancing, these activities can help you tap into the lightheartedness of your inner child.
  2. Mindful Reflection:
    Take time for introspection. Reflect on your childhood memories, both positive and challenging. Understanding the roots of certain behaviors or beliefs can be a crucial step in personal growth.
  3. Create a Safe Space:
    Establishing a safe and nurturing environment is essential for embracing your inner child. This might involve setting aside time for self-care rituals or surrounding yourself with positive influences.

Benefits of Embracing Your Inner Child in Therapy

  1. Improved Emotional Resilience:
    Connecting with your inner child allows you to develop emotional resilience, enabling you to navigate life’s challenges with a more balanced and adaptable mindset.
  2. Enhanced Self-Expression:
    By tapping into the uninhibited expression of your inner child, you can discover new ways to communicate and express your emotions, fostering healthier relationships with those around you.

Embracing the Journey

Embracing your inner child is not a one-time event but an ongoing process. It requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to explore aspects of yourself that may have been buried over the years. Therapy provides a supportive space for this exploration, guiding you on a journey of self-discovery and healing.

As you embark on this therapeutic adventure, remember that embracing your inner child is not about escaping adulthood but integrating the qualities of youth that contribute to a more vibrant and fulfilling life. Through this process, you may find a renewed sense of joy, creativity, and resilience, ultimately leading to a more authentic and connected version of yourself.

If you have any more questions about inner child therapy, mental health therapy or trauma therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

What is the science of PTSD?

Trauma is a complex and profound experience that can have lasting effects on an individual’s mental and physical well-being. In recent years, scientific research has delved into the intricate ways in which trauma, particularly post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), affects both the brain and the body. Understanding these processes not only sheds light on the challenges faced by those with PTSD but also points the way towards innovative therapeutic interventions. In this exploration, we’ll unravel the science behind trauma and examine how PTSD leaves its indelible mark on the intricate systems of our brains and bodies.

The Brain’s Response to Trauma:

When confronted with a traumatic event, the brain’s intricate defense mechanisms are triggered. The amygdala, a region responsible for processing emotions, and the hippocampus, vital for memory formation, are immediately engaged. In the face of danger, the brain initiates the “fight or flight” response, flooding the body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

For individuals with PTSD, this stress response can become hypersensitive, causing the brain to overreact to non-threatening stimuli. The amygdala may become hyperactive, leading to increased emotional reactivity, while the hippocampus may shrink, impairing the ability to differentiate between past trauma and present safety. The result is a persistent state of heightened arousal, where even everyday situations can evoke overwhelming anxiety and fear.

Neurotransmitters and the PTSD Brain:

The brain’s communication network relies on neurotransmitters, chemical messengers that transmit signals between neurons. In the context of trauma, imbalances in neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine can occur. These imbalances are associated with mood disorders, contributing to the emotional dysregulation often seen in individuals with PTSD.

Moreover, chronic stress can lead to neuroinflammation—a process where the brain’s immune cells become activated. This inflammation has been linked to a range of mental health conditions, including PTSD. Understanding these neurobiological changes is crucial for developing targeted treatments that address the root causes of PTSD symptoms.

The Impact on Memory and Cognitive Function:

Trauma can profoundly affect how the brain processes and stores memories. Flashbacks and intrusive memories, hallmark symptoms of PTSD, are thought to stem from the way traumatic memories are encoded and retrieved. The fragmented and vivid nature of these memories can make it challenging for individuals with PTSD to distinguish between past trauma and present reality.

Cognitive functions such as attention, concentration, and decision-making may also be compromised. The constant state of alertness and hypervigilance can lead to difficulties in focusing on day-to-day tasks, impairing overall cognitive performance.

The Body’s Response to Trauma:

The effects of trauma extend beyond the confines of the brain, manifesting in tangible ways throughout the body. The perpetual state of stress associated with PTSD can contribute to a range of physical health issues.

1. **The Stress Hormone Cascade:**

   – Prolonged exposure to stress hormones like cortisol can disrupt the body’s natural balance, impacting immune function, metabolism, and sleep patterns.

2. **The Immune System and Inflammation:**

   – Chronic stress weakens the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to illnesses. Additionally, inflammation, a natural response to stress, can become chronic and contribute to various health problems.

3. **Cardiovascular Impact:**

   – PTSD has been linked to an increased risk of cardiovascular issues, including hypertension and heart disease. The persistent activation of the stress response can put a strain on the cardiovascular system.

4. **Sleep Disturbances:**

   – Trauma and PTSD often accompany sleep disturbances, such as nightmares and insomnia. The resulting sleep deprivation further exacerbates both mental and physical health challenges.

Conclusion:

The science of trauma and its impact on the brain and body is a complex and evolving field of study. Recognizing the profound interplay between psychological and physiological processes is a crucial step toward developing comprehensive and effective interventions for individuals with PTSD. By understanding the intricate ways in which trauma leaves its mark, we can pave the way for trauma-informed approaches that address the root causes and provide holistic healing for those on their journey towards recovery.

If you have any more questions about the science of PTSD, mental health therapy or trauma therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

What is best treatment for mental health therapy?

I receive this question quite often from incoming clients or people that are just curious about mental health treatment and therapy. We tend to be pretty goal oriented and solution focused in this country so of course when we think about healing, we want to know about the best treatment possible.

There are two main components in my professional opinion that lead to the best treatment for mental health therapy. I’ve listed them below:

1. The therapeutic relationship. There has been research done over and over and over again that proves that the relationship between therapist and client is the most important indicator for success in treatment. I value and adore every single one of my clients, and feel so grateful and lucky to work with them. That sense of trust, connection, understanding, and unconditional positive regard is so important. I’ve had clients who switch from another therapist to me because they say that they just didn’t feel connected to their old therapist. Some ways that the therapeutic relationship can be strengthened are if your therapist makes you feel really seen, heard, and it’s clear that you have their undivided attention. It also builds a solid relationship when it’s clear that they remember things that you’ve told them in parts of your story. Some ways to hurt the therapeutic relationship is if you see that your therapist is distracted, they make you feel invalidated, they try to tell you what to do or you don’t feel that they are competent. I can’t overstate how important it is to choose a therapist that you feel connected and seen by. This leads to the best mental health treatment possible.

2. Somatic therapy and bottom up techniques. I believe wholeheartedly that if we do not treat the mind and body holistically then we are missing a huge part of the picture. 80% of the information center nervous system is sent from our body and only 20% is in from our brain. What that means is that our body has stored a lot of the negative experiences we’ve been through and in order to fully heal we need to listen to the signals and wisdom of our body. There are some therapies that just purely focus on trying to change thoughts, which no doubt is part of the picture, but it definitely is not the whole picture. I would go so far as to say some therapies that just focus on thoughts can feel in validating, because they make you feel like if you just change your thoughts, then your anxiety will go away. But this is not the case. It’s like that situation where our mind knows some thing and we intellectually know why someone did some thing that harmed us, but it still hurts in our body and emotionally.

These are the two most important part of affective mental health therapy in my professional opinion. If you don’t feel a connection to your therapist, then I would suggest telling them that and trying to work through it first and then if nothing changes find a therapist that you do feel connected to. It’s very important that folks are getting the treatment that they deserve.

If you have any more questions about somatic therapy, mental health therapy or trauma therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

Why can’t I remember my trauma?

It’s extremely common to not remember part or all of the trauma that you’ve experienced. This can happen in instances of childhood abuse, childhood neglect, childhood sexual abuse, adult domestic violence, or rape and sexual assault in adulthood.

As a trauma therapist, many of my clients have gaslit or discredited themselves over the years because they couldn’t remember parts or all of the trauma they’ve been through.

So why does our brain block out traumatic memories? Below I’ve listed the top three facts related to the blocking out traumatic memories that are helpful for trauma survivors to know…

1. Blocking out memories is different than blacking out memories. Let me explain: When we are extremely under the influence of alcohol or drugs, some of us of experience what it is like to ”black out.” We might look back on the night before and not remember what happened after we had a certain amount to drink or use. When we black out, our brain is not even recording what is going on in the present. We might have trauma when we wake up from a blackout, but the actual experiences that we had while blacked out are not being recorded by her memory. This is very different than when we block out a memory because our brain has recorded everything that has happened but it is just protecting us from those memories. The main difference here is that our brain is using the danger that happened during the memories that we blocked out in our present day reactions so even though we don’t remember everything, it is still having an extreme effect on us.

2. Our brain is trying to protect us. If a certain event happened that we are unable to process emotionally at the time because it was too damaging to us or felt too dangerous. Then our brain is now going to be recording this memory, and storing it in a part of our brain that we can’t access. It doesn’t actually mean that we can never access the memories although sometimes that is the case. Some folks in their 70s are having flashbacks for the first time about childhood sexual abuse that happened when they were eight years old. Other folks start having flashbacks in their early 20s from childhood sexual abuse that happened when they were six. Other folks just know that some thing happened because of the reactions they have to sex and the nightmares they have, but they may never remember exactly what happened. Our system can only process so much at a time, and if the trauma was out of our window of tolerance, and our nervous system could not process it, but it is likely that we will block out some or all of it. But again, as stated above, it still has an extreme affect on us and our present behavior, even if we can’t remember what happened.

3. It is still possible to heal from trauma where we don’t know the details of what happened. This is because we use the body as a starting point. 80% of the information sent to our nervous system is sent from our body to our brain. Only 20% is sent from our brain to our body. This is why a lot of trauma therapist believe that trauma is held in our body. That’s why in a certain situation we might not intellectually know what triggered us, but our body is extremely triggered because of something that happened. So even if we don’t remember everything that happened, we can still do somatic therapy such as Emdr, IFS, somatic, experiencing and mindfulness to heal.

Most importantly I want to state that IT IS NORMAL and THERE IS HOPE. Believe yourself! Your body knows what happened. Don’t second guess yourself or gaslight yourself.

Some people get so caught up in trying to remember every detail of what their brain blocked out and that is not the way to heal. If it was helpful for you to remember what happened, then your brain will give you access to it. Trust your body.

Remember that your body loves you and is always only trying to protect you. And seek therapy for trauma you don’t remember! It is still possible to heal even without all the nitty gritty details.

You deserve healing!

If you have any more questions about childhood trauma therapy, childhood abuse therapy or trauma therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

Recovery tips for childhood trauma or abuse survivors

Most of us know that abuse is bad, that it is not the victims fault and that no one deserves it. What most people don’t know is how much childhood trauma and abuse developmentally impact an individual.

As a trauma therapist and trauma survivor, you would be surprised with how often I hear, “well it happened so long ago I should be over it by now.”

We feel like because time is gone by that we should have moved on already. We feel like if somehow, we are still having anxiety, depression, trauma symptoms it’s because there’s something wrong with us. We see other people on social media, or other people around us that are seemingly functioning so well. We wonder why we can’t do the same. The truth is, everyone has an internal struggle. It’s just hard to see from the outside, looking in.

I’m going to write a list of 10 tips for childhood abuse and trauma survivors to begin to heal and regulate their nervous system.

1. Surround yourself with people that make you feel supported. This one is actually way easier said than done. It’s difficult to cut people out of our lives especially if we aren’t close with our family of origin. But it’s really important that we start to cultivate connections with people that make us feel seen, valued, understood and loved. If we don’t, then we will just end up piling trauma upon trauma over time.

2. Get exercise that feels good to us. This is an underrated coping skill, and it doesn’t need to look like becoming a professional bodybuilder. What it means is when we activate our muscles they release which scientist called the hope molecule. Essentially, exercising and moving our body makes us feel happier and it’s easier to cope when things are hard.

3. Eating a nutritious diet. Feeding our body food. That makes our body feel good is really important also. When thinking about trauma healing, we think about whole body healing. A part of this is feeding our bodies foods that will help improve our mood. Our body in our mind are extremely connected and there’s no way to separate them so feeding our body healthy foods is a way of feeling better emotionally also.

4. Focusing on good sleeping habits. The quality of our sleep affects everything in our lives. Especially when we have had childhood trauma we can often really struggle with sleep. Getting into a good sleep habit means taking an hour before bed to get a new routine and turning off electronics. It also means Getting our circadian rhythm balance which means going to bed and waking up around the same times every day. This helps our body know what to expect and function better overall.

5. Eating enough food. Sometimes when we’ve experienced childhood, trauma or abuse, we can begin to neglect our bodies by not eating enough. If we’re not getting enough calories every day, then our body actually goes into survival mode and it’s extremely hard for us to function. We aren’t able to learn or retain information the same way, if we are not getting enough food.

6. Allowing ourselves to play. As trauma and abuse survivors things often feel really serious. We’re often in a trauma response, and we know how to go deep emotionally. What we didn’t get enough practiced doing was keeping things light and playing when we were kids. So now it is important that we intentionally give ourselves time to play as adults.

7. Create a healthy sexual dynamic with ourselves. When we’ve experienced childhood abuse or trauma, some of that can include child sexual abuse. This can end up affecting us by causing us to either number out when it comes to sex or overindulge and then feel shame. There’s nothing good or bad when it comes to sex – just what makes us feel good or makes us feel bad. Really listening to your body and realizing what makes you feel good and what doesn’t and honoring that is really important.

8. Start listening to your gut. If we have experience childhood abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, or other trauma, we can become really disconnected from our body. A way to reconnect is by listening to our gut feeling and then acting accordingly.

9. Tend to your inner child. Pay attention to what you liked when you’re younger and sometimes give yourself those simple pleasures. Listen to what your inner child wants, needs and how your inner child feels.

10. Acts of self-love and self-care. And do you things that actually make your nervous system feel better. This can be taking a hot bath, taking a few deep breaths, meditating, yoga, hiking, spending time with friends, and the list goes on. We can be really tempted to spend hours scrolling on our phone and it’s important that we aren’t too hard on ourselves for that But that is also not making her nervous system feel any better. So taking just a few moments a day to do some thing that really feeds our sense of calm and self love is really important

This is just a really good starting list of where to start to begin to heal from childhood abuse. I could probably make a list of 100 tips. Of course it is really important to seek professional help when dealing with childhood trauma and abuse recovery. Going to trauma therapy for PTSD And complex PTSD can be a way to heal from trauma much faster than we can heal alone.

If you have any more questions about childhood trauma therapy, childhood abuse therapy or trauma therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

What is inner child healing?

As a therapist and trauma survivor myself, one of my all-time favorite quotes is “be the person you need it when you were younger”.

This is the essence of inner child healing.

Our childhood and teenage years are the most important years developmentally. This includes social emotional development, and also actual brain development. The experiences we go through when we were younger, actually rewire our brain.

We all have experiences when we were younger that made our inner child feel unseen, unloved, and misunderstood. Some of us have even had childhood trauma, where our inner child was actively hurt, betrayed, abused, or neglected.

There are many ways to begin to start the process of inner child, healing both in therapy and outside of therapy.

Below is a list of the top three ways to begin, and her child healing.

1. Parts work. There is a therapy technique called internal family systems, or IFS, that focuses on healing the parts of ourselves that are still wounded. Often, our inner wounds are younger parts of ourselves that have been left feeling alone, unloved or not good enough. The good news is that we can work to listen and understand what these younger parts have been through. And we can also work on healing these parts and giving them what they needed back then. This is a beautiful way to rewrite history.

2. Somatic experiencing. This is one of my favorite therapy techniques to do with clients in session but there are also ways for clients to do somatic experiencing work through guided meditation in between sessions too. The good and bad news is that our brain doesn’t know the difference between real and imaginary. The reason why this is helpful is because we can use somatic experiencing to feel what our inner child was going through and then imagine we got what we needed and have a felt sense of what that would be like. Because our brain doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined, we actually feel what it would be like for needs to have been met when we were younger. This also helps to rewrite history in the most beautiful way.

3. Play. This is something that can absolutely be done outside of therapy. It’s important to really get in touch with what your inner child loved and what made your inner child happy. If your inner child loved video games, it would be really healing to play video games more often in your adult life. If your child self loved Disney movies, it’s important to watch a Disney movie here and there. If your childhood self loved to run around in the forest, take some time to get out in nature more often. Taking some time to intentionally be silly and act in ways that are lighthearted and fun will make our inner child very happy. Your inner child may have had to carry burdens that were too heavy for a young person to carry. We went to help them lighten their load.

There are many other beautiful ways to help our inner child heal but above are some of the most effective I’ve seen.

More than anything else what her and her child needs is compassion. That is the most important place to start. And you can start by treating yourself kindly when you make mistakes in the present.

Let yourself off the hook for being imperfect. What all humans have in common is that we are imperfect in our lives are imperfect.

Having the awareness that your inner child needs healing is the first step, and I am beyond proud of anyone who is on this journey of giving your inner child what they need. Good work!

If you have any more questions about inner child work, ptsd or trauma therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

How does sexual assault affect us

Sexual assault can be one of the most horrifying things that can happen to a human being. It’s important to remember that it’s never the survivors fault, and all the fault belongs with the perpetrator who wanted to do the sexual assault.

Unfortunately, millions of young girls and boys are sexually assaulted every year. There are also millions more of adults who were sexually assaulted too. It’s some thing that society is talking a little bit more about but still seems just as pervasive as ever.

As a PTSD therapist, I focus a lot of my work on helping survivors of sexual assault heal and recover. A lot of them ask me how does the sexual assault affect me? It’s sometimes hard for us to untangle how these assault affects us, especially if it happened has happened more than once or when we were children.

When our nervous systems are feeling unsafe and overwhelmed, it’s really hard to have clear awareness in insight of how the traumatic event is affecting us now. We sometimes can be hyper aware of how are feeling, but unable to make connections of how that is attached to our sexual assault or rape.

Below I’ve listed the top five ways that sexual assault can affects us:

1. We experience dissociation or numbness. Because sexual assault is a trauma on our body, one of the ways our bodies can cope is by trying to numb. This is a form of avoidance, because being in our body might not feel safe.

2. We experience a flood of emotions. During a traumatic event such as rape or sexual assault our bodies are not able to process what is happening to us at the time because our bodies are in full survival mode. This leaves pent-up emotion and sensation that can later flood us at inconvenient times. Emotions such as disgust, helplessness, sadness, anger, rage, grief are commonly associated with the flooding of our emotions attached to the assault.

3. We find ourselves wanting to isolate away from people. After experiencing sexual assault, our bodies might feel really shut down. Our nervous system, then uses most of its energy to repair our system. It doesn’t leave much energy for social interaction. There also might be a part of us that doesn’t trust other people for a while or doesn’t feel safe with them. This part of us might want to isolate.

4. We may have nightmares associated with the assault. Nightmares are often tools for nervous system to work out emotions that we aren’t able to work out during the day. This comes into play when we’ve had an assault and our nervous system is trying to release some of the emotions attached through nightmares or night terrors.

5. We might start utilizing unhelpful coping skills. As a way to avoid what we’re feeling, we might start self sabotaging in ways that don’t really feel good to us but help Nahum what happened. Some unhelpful coping skills that we may use includes: abusing substances, addictively watching TV/playing video games/scrolling on our cell phone, watching harmful kinds of porn, overeating, etc.

These, of course, are not all the ways that sexual assault can affect us, but these are some of the main themes in which are trauma can manifest.

If you have any more questions about rape, sexual assault, ptsd or trauma therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.