What is toxic positivity?

A lot of the clients that I work with are interested in manifesting and the law of attraction. The law of attraction states that whatever energy we put out is what we will get back. Believing in manifesting and the law of attraction are both, in themselves, not harmful at all. They can be helpful if we utilize them in the right way.

Unfortunately, in this day and age toxic positivity or “good vibes only” has started to get confused with optimism and looking for gratitude. There is a major difference between trying to look for the good in your life versus completely avoiding anything negative.

Below I’ve listed three signs of toxic positivity:

1. The person has no space for their own negative emotions. Someone with toxic positivity is so afraid of getting stuck in negativity or pessimism that they locked themselves in a “prison of happiness.” I called this a prison because as humans it is natural for us to feel all of our emotions. If we do not allow ourselves to feel certain emotions or we numb them, we are having to walk on eggshells in our own body. All emotions are signals to us and can be used for good even if they don’t feel good. For example anger is a signal to our body to act. It gives us energy when we may need it. The emotion itself is not bad but it’s the behavior we do when we feel the emotion that can have consequences. Numbing emotions can have extremely harmful consequences.

2. The person doesn’t allow themselves to have negative thoughts or speak about them. It is natural to have judgmental or stressful thoughts. Judgment is actually meant in it’s biological form to help keep us safe. If we saw a man with a red coat and a knife, and a man with a red coat with a knife has hurt us in the past, we would have a snap judgment to fear this man. And that judgment, in itself, would not be a bad thing. Also, it can lead to people who are in toxic or abusive relationships staying because they are in denial. Part of boundaries is recognizing when things aren’t right but if we are so afraid of identifying something that might be negative we may stay in a situation that isn’t right for us.

3. The person can’t tolerate anyone else’s negative thoughts, emotions and experiences. An example can be a friend or family member coming to the person with a problem or needing to vent- and the person views them as negative or burdensome. If someone has toxic positivity, they will not make time or space for other peoples problems in their life. This is harmful because we admire people based on their accomplishments but we actually connect with other human beings based on our struggles. If someone with toxic positivity cannot relate to other peoples struggles or be empathic out of fear of being negative, it starts really harm relationships and make other people feel alone.

If you have any more questions about toxic positivity please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

Thanks so much for reading until the end and hope you enjoyed it!

https://atomic-temporary-192527001.wpcomstaging.com

Can I do EMDR on Telehealth virtual therapy?

Telehealth therapy has been on the rise ever since COVID showed us that we can do therapy and stay connected virtually. There are some types of therapy that have both clinicians and clients wondering if they can be done successfully and ethically via Telehealth. EMDR is one of these.

EMDR, or eye movement decensitization and repossing, has been one of the leading therapies for trauma over the last few decades – and for good reason! EMDR has shown research proven results and has helped millions change their lives for the better.

Below I will give the top three reasons why EMDR can be done virtually while also adding some follow-up questions to keep in mind.

1. You can still connect with another human being via telehealth therapy. This is really important to keep in mind with doing EMDR virtually because knowing and trusting that you have another presence there to help you hold compassionate space and move through the trauma is important. And for some people, it may make them feel more safe because there is the physical barrier of not being in person while also having the safety of having another person on the end of the line. That may feel less intimidating to some.

2. You can still do bilateral stimulation virtually. For those of you who are new to EMDR, bilateral stimulation is a tool used in the reprocessing phase of EMDR that is a way to activate both left and right sides of the brain. This is achieved through either sound, eye movements, or tapping. This can be done virtually by having the client listen to auditory sounds, watch bilateral stimulation on their mobile device or computer, or do physical tapping on themselves.

3. Every part of EMDR (apart from bilateral stimulation, spoken about in #2) can easily be done virtually. There’s the resourcing phase which is basically making sure that the persons nervous system is ready to do the work. There is information gathering stage which needs to be done in any therapy setting and can easily be done via Telehealth. There needs to be a good amount of information given on how the process looks, gathering past traumatic memories that the person wants to re-process, the reprocessing phase, etc. All of the stages can easily be done virtually.

Some questions to keep in mind are…

Do you trust your therapist? Are you ready to do deep trauma work? What support do you have set up in your life? How are you going to handle getting triggered? Do you have the finances or resources to be able to stick with an EMDR and your therapist for as long as it takes to get through? What would a successful outcome look like for you?

These are important questions to ask yourself whether you were doing EMDR in person or virtually.

If you have any more questions about virtual EMDR please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

Thanks so much for reading until the end and hope you enjoyed it!🌞



Do I have PTSD?

You probably have heard the term PTSD and if you are on this page you are wondering if you qualify for the diagnosis.

There is a lot of information going around about PTSD in recent years so let me help parse out the four main components of PTSD below.

1. AVOIDANCE: Avoidance is one of the main components of PTSD so that’s why I list it first. Avoidance comes out in so many different ways when someone has PTSD. An example would be if someone has experience sexual assault in their lifetime, they may avoid movies that include anything having to do with sexual assault. This also would include avoiding talking, thinking, or feeling anything related to a traumatic event or a series of traumatic events.

2. RE-EXPERIENCING: Re-experiencing means that you will be reminded of the traumatic event or events when you don’t want to be reminded. For example someone with trauma might be driving down the road, listening to their favorite song and all of a sudden they think about something that’s related to their trauma. The intrusive memory could be a snippet of the traumatic memory itself, a feeling, the person that caused the trauma, a certain smell, etc. Intrusive memories also often come up that only during waking hours but also during sleeping hours in the form of dreams, nightmares, and night terrors.

3. COGNITIVE: Cognitive symptoms include changes in core beliefs about ourselves as well as people in the world around us. Common cognitive beliefs include that nobody can be trusted, the world isn’t safe, people want to take advantage of us, we are unlovable, and we are not enough. These are just some examples of some core beliefs that can arise from trauma but the list is endless. The main thing to pay attention to with changes in core beliefs is that the core beliefs are negative, over generalized and affect our lives in a negative way.

4. HYPER-AROUSAL: Arousal symptoms address the feelings, sensations and somatic experiences that stick around in our body after the traumatic event has passed. This includes The feeling of impending doom that’s present in our body, constant anxiety and scanning the room for danger, and overall levels of stress in our body. Arousal includes the symptoms that manifest in our fight, flight, freeze and fawn trauma responses.

If you relate to the main four components of PTSD above then that is a sign that you need to talk to a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist near you about having symptoms of PTSD.

Having an accurate diagnosis is really important and getting the right treatment and therefore the best results for whatever you were struggling with. This blog is not meant to diagnose but to give information to allow you to seek the proper resources.

If you have any more questions about PTSD or complex PTSD please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

Thanks so much for reading until the end and hope you enjoyed it!

https://atomic-temporary-192527001.wpcomstaging.com

Do I need therapy?

Unlike past times, going to seek mental health therapy has now become mainstream as well as respected and seen as a healthy trait in a potential partner instead of a red flag.

Whether or not to seek therapy is something that all of us have considered at some point in our lives. Therapy is not for people who can’t handle issues on their own, it’s actually for people who want to continue to grow and heal to reach their full potential of health, happiness, and fulfillment within their relationships.

I’ve made a list of the top five reasons why therapy might be helpful for you. There are an endless number of reasons why therapy may be helpful but this is a good list to get you started.

Here are the top five reasons to seek therapy today:

1. You are having overreactions to present-day situations. Overreacting in any given situation is a clear sign that there are unhealed past memories that are continuing to affect you today. This means that in order to heal and react in a way that feels more helpful to people at work, romantic relationships, to family, actively working on healing the past is necessary. Time heals all wounds is a myth. Active therapeutic work heals past wounds.

2. You are under-reacting which means you are shutting down in situations in the present. Just like overreacting can be a red flag that past memories are still affecting you, so is shutting down in moments that you need to be present for. If you have ever been in an emotional conflict with someone and instead of being able to express your needs or hear their needs you shut them out or emotionally shut down – this is a sign that therapy could be helpful.

3. You feel like there are issues with your attachment style which means you are either avoidant or anxious in relationships. Relationships can be the most fulfilling part of our lives. It is most commonly reported when someone is sitting on their deathbed that they look back and wish they had to spend more quality time and been better to the people in their lives. This is where healing your attachment style comes in and therapy can be one of the most effective ways to move more towards secure attachment.

4. You feel like you are always stuck in your head and overthinking and very rarely are in touch with your body. This is the sign that your nervous system has been overwhelmed at some point in your life and you need nervous system healing. There is a theory that past emotional stressors or traumas get stuck in our body and causes us to disassociate and not be connected to the emotional signals sent to us by her body. If this is the case for you I would recommend seeking a somatic or bottom up healing therapist

5. The way that you talk to yourself or feel about yourself is especially critical, harsh and judgmental. The way that we feel and talk about ourselves has an incredible impact on how we feel day to day. If we are relentless in picking apart every mistake that we make, it is going to be miserable to live in our own head. This is where seeing a therapist and changing the way that you treat yourself comes into play. There are a ton of techniques that can help you with this such as self compassion, cognitive behavioral therapy, somatic experiencing, and cognitive mindfulness therapy.

If any of these five reasons to seek therapy apply to you then I recommend looking into finding a therapist near you. I will have a blog coming up soon about tips in choosing the right therapist for you so keep an eye out for that. I hope you have enjoyed and gotten some thing out of this blog and if so like, share, and follow!

If you have any more questions about psychotherapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

Thanks so much for reading until the end and hope you enjoyed it!

https://atomic-temporary-192527001.wpcomstaging.com

How to Stop Overthinking

If you’re reading this… welcome to the club! Overthinking is extremely common when it comes to anxiety, daily stressors and/or trauma symptoms.

We all the know the feeling… overthinking about something we said or didn’t say, overthinking about a romantic parter, staying up at night replaying the past, future, all of our to do lists, desires, regrets.

Below I’ve compiled the top five ways to stop overthinking:

1. Get out of your head and into your body. When we are overthinking, all of our energy is in our head. When this happens we often lose touch with our body. We lose touch with our emotions, our sensations, and a general sense of embodiment. A great way to stop over thinking is to get out of your mind and focus your concentration on the emotions and sensations in your body.

2. Move a muscle change a thought. This means that when we are running, exercising, playing, or doing intentional body movements like yoga – we have to focus on what our body is doing. This is a really great way to stop overthinking. This can even mean something as simple as going for a really short walk.

3. Change your environment. This is a great technique because when we are in a certain environment we get used to the external stimuli and then we relax into our internal stimuli- meaning our thoughts. When we change the external stimuli, or our environment, it also helps to change our internal environment. This can be as simple as moving from one room in your house to another.

4. Focus on your breath. This is a mindfulness activity and probably one of the most central ways to not get lost in thought. In all meditation and mindful traditions one of the most common and historical is to focus on our breath. When all else falls away, we are left with our breath. It is safe, consistent, and life-giving.

5. Question your thoughts. Our thoughts are not often reality. Our perception of the present moment is clouded by our past experiences and the negative core beliefs we hold about ourselves. A really important practice is to begin to not focus on whether a thought it’s true or not but to focus on whether a thought is helpful or not.

If you begin to practice these five coping skills to stop overthinking you were really start to notice a difference in your quality of life.

If you have any more questions about overthinking please feel free to reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

https://atomic-temporary-192527001.wpcomstaging.com

What is EMDR?

Many of us have heard about EMDR in passing or from loved ones who rave about how effective of a therapy modality it is but it leaves us wondering… what the heck is EMDR?

EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing which is a long way of saying it uses bilateral stimulation (stimulating both sides of the body and therefore brain) to reprocess past trauma or distressing memories.

The past affects the present in the ways we feel about ourselves, others and the world around us. The past also colors the ways we find ourselves either over or under reacting in situations and relationships in our lives in the present.

Below I will give you the top three themes to help you better understand EMDR.

  1. It is an evidence-based therapy. This means it is a therapy technique developed by a PHD which has been proven by research to produce positive results in PTSD, anxiety and depressive patients. EMDR has been extensively researched and science has proven that even after clients stop EMDR treatment that their symptoms continue to improve.
  2. It’s a form of exposure therapy. This means that in order to heal trauma we need to have one foot in the past and one foot in the present. In order to fully heal and release trauma, we need to trigger parts of the unhealed trauma such as the emotions, sensations, thoughts and memories. Essentially, we expose ourselves internally to the memories, thoughts and emotions in order to truly process and heal them.
  3. The past affects the present. The belief in EMDR is that if you have any experiences in the present where you find yourself overreacting or under-reacting to a situation that it is because there are unhealed memories in your past. The reason why memories in the past are unhealed and therefore affect our present is because they were too overwhelming for our nervous system at the time to process them. That’s why in EMDR we go back to the past to process in order to help your present become more peaceful and happy.

EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is one of the leading therapies for complex PTSD, PTSD, childhood trauma, overcoming experiences of rape, or sexual assault, and relationship disruptions in the past. EMDR can be used to process any memory in the past that we did not have the emotional capacity to process at the time. The more memories from the past that we were able to properly heal, the less power that our past will have on our present and the more control we will have over our life.

If you have any more questions about EMDR, ptsd or trauma therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

What is IFS (internal family systems) therapy?

IFS (internal family systems) therapy is probably the most popular and growing therapy of recent times. It was actually developed from family systems theory turning it inward and shown how applicable it could be to our internal systems.

To put it simply, IFS focuses on our different parts (such as one part of me feels excited about the change but another part feels scared), figuring out what each part needs and how we can help integrate them all. Every person has different parts of themselves.

I’ve written a list of my top three most frequently asked questions about IFS to give you an idea about the healing therapeutic approach!

1. What does “parts work” mean? We each have many different aspects of our personalities such as our adventurous side, our anxious side and our critical side. These are just a few examples. Based on any given situation, it brings up different parts of ourselves. Parts work basically means we are healing and getting to know each part of ourselves so we can integrate all parts to work together for our greatest good.

2. Does that mean I have multiple personalities? A common misconception about parts work is that we relate it to the old diagnosis of “multiple personality disorder” as seen as media and films. The parts work we do in IFS therapy is completely different and is meant for every person. It is the common human experience to have different parts of ourselves.

3. How do I heal different parts? To heal the different parts, we start by learning to understand them and develop a relationship with them. We communicate with them before we start to heal. Healing does come through common understanding, feeling and coming up with solutions together. It is SUCH a beautiful process!

These are some good FAQ to get you started but there is SO much more to internal family systems!

If you have any more questions about internal family systems (IFS) therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

Thanks so much for reading until the end and hope you enjoyed it!

https://atomic-temporary-192527001.wpcomstaging.com

How do I find the right therapist for me?

Finding the right therapist for you can be a daunting process. Making the choice to seek help is such a brave decision but there are many steps in-between admitting our lives would be more fulfilled if we sought help and actually walking into our first session with a therapist.

I’ve compiled a list of the top three questions to pay attention to when you are searching for the right therapist for you.

1. Do they specialize in what you want to work on? It is really important that the mental health professional that you end up working with has experience in what you need help with. Therapists, just like doctors, specialize in certain areas. You would be getting the best care of you choose someone who has more experience working with whatever particular issue you are going to therapy to address.

2. How did you feel during and after speaking with them? This is a great question to ask yourself in any relationship, but especially when you are trying to set up a therapeutic relationship. Ideally, you wouldn’t feel judged, you would feel like the therapist is competent, made you feel cared about and made you feel seen/heard. Finding a therapist is like any other relationship – not all therapists and clients will be the right fit and that’s okay. If you don’t feel you align with a therapist then my advice is to keep looking.

3. Can I open up to this person? Some folks have attachment issues with mother or father and may not feel comfortable fully opening up to a woman, man, etc. It’s extremely important that you are able to be transparent in therapy to get the most out of it. So choose someone you can see yourself getting vulnerable with!

This is a good list to get you started on the path to finding the perfect therapist for you. The results of therapy make it so worth the effort!

If you have any more questions about psychotherapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

Thanks so much for reading until the end! You are worthy of wisdom, healing, and being LOVED.

https://atomic-temporary-192527001.wpcomstaging.com

Should I try mental health medication?

The decision to try psychotropic medication for mental health symptoms can be a hard one. There are so many factors that come into play when we are deciding to try Western medicine including ethical dilemmas, side effect fears and emotions connecting with seeking medical help.

As a therapist and a person who has had my fair share of mental health struggles, I have seen first hand how challenges this decision can be.

I have seen clients who desperately need a solution for crippling depression, anxiety, trauma, who aren’t able to find enough relief with holistic and therapy measures alone. I have also seen folks who take medication and find the side effects are so severe that it has negative consequences past the time they stop the medication. Some people are able to fully heal from holistic measures and therapy alone.

Whether to try mental health medication to help cope with symptoms is completely a personal decision. I’d highly recommend listening to your doctor’s requests as well as your own intuition/research.

Here’s five questions to consider if you are wondering if mental health medication is for you or not…

1. Are you in therapy? Research proves that for the most effective results: people need therapy alongside mental health medication. Consider this in your decision and if you are not currently addressing symptoms with therapy, it is important to add that to your self-care routine in a way that feels manageable to you.

2. What messaging have you received on mental health medication? Your decision needs to be based on your own mind/body/spiritual needs and not the judgments or needs of others. There is a whole lot of unsolicited advice out there and when it comes to this important decision: leave the final call up to primarily you and then your doctor.

3. Do you have judgment against yourself for “needing” medication? This is a common belief I’ve heard from folks as a barrier for medication treatment. It is okay to ask for help, it is okay to take medication if you’re experiencing a chemical imbalance. It doesn’t mean that medication is the right decision for everyone, but we definitely shouldn’t let self-judgment be the barrier in our healing.

4. Am I basing my opinion off online reviews from others who have taken medication? This can be really tricky because the majority of people who leave reviews on online platforms such as Reddit have extreme experiences with medications. Most of the folks that go out of their way to post their medication experience unfortunately ends up being biased. I would base your opinion on medication based on your own experiences and doctor recommendations. Each medication will affect each person differently.

5. Am I ready to change? This can be really scary. We may fear that if we get better that we will lose parts of ourselves that we have grown to embrace or at least be comfortable with. Who would I be without my anxiety? Without my depression? Without my ADHD symptoms? It’s a good question to consider.

Each person has the right to make the decision for themselves if medication is right for them. There is a stigma in our society around mental health medication but it doesn’t have to affect our decision for ourselves. Some people choose to try therapy first. Some people decide to try holistic measures only. There is no right or wrong answer for most people. I’d ask yourself some questions and then trust yourself to know the right answer for you!

PS this isn’t medical advice and I’m not a medical doctor 🙂

If you have any more questions about your feelings about mental health medications please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

Thanks so much for reading until the end! You are worthy of wisdom, healing, and being LOVED.

https://atomic-temporary-192527001.wpcomstaging.com

Do I need Psychotherapy with Ketamine Treatment?

Are you interested in seeking ketamine treatments to help you overcome depressive, anxious or trauma symptoms?

Have you already started on the path of ketamine infusions and find yourself seeking to properly prepare or integrate those experiences?

If your answer is yes to one of these questions, you are in the right place. I am a psychotherapist who specializes in working with psychedelic integration as well as treating mental health issues.

I’m going to give you the top five reasons why it is imperative that if you seek Ketamine treatment, you must also prepare with a therapist beforehand and integrate with a therapist afterwards.

1. A therapist can help you with setting the right intention. Preparation is so very important when it comes to getting the most you possibly can out of Ketamine treatments. Setting the right intention could be a game changer when it comes to the results of ketamine infusions. For example, if you go into the ketamine therapy with no intention whatsoever, your mind may go where it typically does which may be a dark place. It doesn’t mean the treatment wouldn’t work at all, it just means it wouldn’t work nearly as well. Ketamine has a way of getting us into our subconscious mind which is a place where incredible change can take place. But if we are going into our subconscious and just implanting more of the same depressed, anxious and self-critical thoughts, it won’t allow for as much as a shift to happen.

2. A therapist can also help you develop mindfulness. There is so much that is brought to the surface in a ketamine infusion, and if you haven’t learned mindfulness skills… you just might miss transformative information. Learning to pay close attention to what comes up will provide valuable pieces to the process of healing moving forward.

3. A therapist can help you develop maybe the most important skill of all: self-compassion. During a ketamine infusion, you have control to set an initial intention and with mindfulness can have a bit of sway in how the experience goes but overall the journey will take you where it is meant to go. With that being said, regardless of what your brain and body present during the ketamine treatment, you will have learned how to treat yourself loving regardless. I can’t emphasize this enough, self-compassion could make all the difference in having a “positive” or “negative” experience. It is all a matter a perspective and how you treat yourself with whatever it is that comes to the surface.

4. A therapist can help you integrate the experience. There are so many therapeutic connections from the past, present and future that will be presented in a ketamine experience. It is very important that you have a trained mental health professional to help you properly integrate these experiences in a healthy, positive and long-lasting way.

5. A therapist will help you continue to process what the Ketamine journey brought to the surface. Even though Ketamine is incredibly effective – it is not an instant and forever fix. Sometimes it brings to the surface what we have needed to heal in order to begin the process of peace. That means we need to continue to utilize therapy to finish the work that our Ketamine journey began. We can do this with evidence-based therapeutic modalities such as EMDR, IFS, mindfulness and somatic-experiencing.

As a trained masters-level therapist who has also tried first-hand the experience of medically supervised ketamine treatments for stress reduction, I have discovered how truly important these top 5 reasons to prepare and integrate with a therapist are.

As time goes on, we will continue to see psychedelic therapy rise. The research is indisputable and incredibly hopeful. I encourage you to consider to talk to your doctor about what they feel is best for your medical symptoms and I also encourage you to reach out to a therapist to work on your mental health symptoms if you are interested or already involved in Ketamine treatments.

I would be happy to answer questions or talk about a free consultation for therapy for Ketamine preparation or integration! Please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at reneeminxtherapy@gmail.com

Thanks so much for reading until the end! You are worthy of wisdom, healing, and being LOVED.

https://atomic-temporary-192527001.wpcomstaging.com